I want to be real about something before I share what worked for me, because I feel like a lot of advice in these situations skips over the emotional side entirely and that drives me crazy.
Finding out your partner might be on a dating app is not just a tech problem. It is a trust problem. And before you go down the rabbit hole of creating fake accounts and running searches, I really want to ask: are you in a place where you can handle what you might find? Either outcome, by the way. Because sometimes people search and find nothing and they still feel terrible because the fact that they felt the need to search at all tells them something real about the relationship.
Okay. With that said. What I used was Xnspy.
Xnspy is an app that you can install on your partners phone WITH their knowledge and consent, and it lets you see what apps are installed on the device, including any dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and others. It also shows app usage time, so you can see if they are actively using something.
The key word is consent. I want to say that clearly. I asked my partner directly: I am feeling insecure and I would feel better if we were both open about our phone activity. We agreed together to use it as a transparency tool. It actually brought us closer because the conversation around it forced us to address what was really going on underneath the surface.
Xnspy is not free but it is affordable, and the peace of mind when used the right way is worth it. Just please, talk first 