I need help because I am genuinely losing my mind in grocery stores 
My son is 7 and my daughter is 5 and every single trip, without fail, it starts the moment we walk through those sliding doors. “Can I have that?” “Can we get this?” “Ooh what is that?” It does not matter if it is a candy bar, a random toy shoved in the snack aisle, or a $14 cereal box with a cartoon on it. If they see it, they want it.
I have tried saying no firmly. I have tried explaining we don’t need it. I have tried ignoring it. Last week my daughter asked for a plastic flamingo at the checkout that I am fairly certain serves no purpose in any known universe. I said no and she sat down on the floor right there. Just sat. Looked me dead in the eyes and sat on the floor of Target 
At what point does this get better and is there anything that actually helps in the meantime?
The floor sit. THE FLOOR SIT. I have been there and I want you to know you are not alone 
My son pulled the exact same move at a Home Depot once. Just fully committed to the floor in the garden section like he was staging a protest over something. I had to pretend I didn’t know him for about 45 seconds while casually looking at terracotta pots.
What actually helped us long term was giving him a small budget before we went in. Like literally $2 or $3 in coins he could hold in his hand. He could spend it on anything he wanted or keep it. The moment he realized the flamingo cost more than what he had, he did the math himself and moved on. Kids this age respond really well to something tangible. Abstract ideas like “we don’t need it” go straight over their heads. But empty hands after spending their coins? That lands hard.
The coin budget that KernelXMythic mentioned is genuinely one of the most effective approaches at this age and there is real psychology behind why it works. When kids have their own money to spend, they become surprisingly thoughtful about what is actually worth it to them. Suddenly they are the ones saying “no that is too expensive” and you are standing there trying not to laugh because five minutes ago they were begging for a $3 keychain.
Real talk, I used to dread grocery runs so much that I would try to go alone after the kids were asleep just to avoid the whole thing 
Then a friend suggested the “one ask rule” and it genuinely changed how our trips went. Before walking in, I told my kids they each get ONE ask for the whole trip. Just one. They can use it on anything they want but once it is used, that is it.
The interesting thing is they started holding onto it. They would see something and think “wait, is this really worth my ask?” They would walk past three different things, saving it for something better, and sometimes forget to use it entirely. It turned the whole dynamic from a constant stream of requests into this little game they were running in their own heads. Give it a try at least once, it costs nothing and the results might genuinely surprise you.
One thing I will add that people do not talk about enough: the conversation you have IN THE CAR before going in matters more than anything you say once you are already inside. If you pull up to the store with no setup at all, you are walking into chaos. But if you say on the way there “we are going in to get four things, here is what they are,” and involve them in the mission, they feel like participants instead of passengers. My daughter used to love holding the list and checking things off. It gave her a job and she was too busy being the official list manager to beg for plastic flamingos 
I love that TechRider brought up the pre-store conversation because the setup really does carry so much of the weight. But also can we just take a second to appreciate that your daughter staged a full sit-in protest at Target The eye contact. The commitment. Honestly if she keeps that energy she will be unstoppable in life.
On a more useful note: I stopped fighting the asking completely and just started saying “put it on your wish list.” I keep a note on my phone and let them add to it whenever they want. It acknowledges their want without any purchase happening, and about 80 percent of the time they forget about it within a week. The other 20 percent becomes birthday and holiday gift ideas which is actually really convenient. Zero meltdowns and I always know exactly what to get them 
The wish list approach from PixelXHollow is something I recommend to parents pretty regularly because it works on a few levels at the same time. It validates the child’s feeling of wanting something without a flat rejection, and it quietly teaches delayed gratification in a low pressure way. A 5 year old who hears “yes, let’s add it to your list” walks away feeling heard even though nothing was bought. That small emotional win is often all it takes to avoid the floor sit.
For StackXQuantumLink, I also want to say: the consistency you are building right now, the holding the line, the explaining, the redirecting, even on the days when it feels completely pointless, is building their ability to tolerate not getting what they want immediately. That is one of the most genuinely useful things a person can learn. It does not feel like important parenting work when you are standing in front of a plastic flamingo display but it really is.
Can I say something that might be a little unpopular? Sometimes swapping “no” for “not today” makes a bigger difference than any strategy or system. I know that sounds too simple but hear me out. “No” to a young child feels permanent, final, and very big, which is part of why it triggers such a big reaction. “Not today” is softer and it is also true. It does not feel like a door slamming.
I started using “not today” with my daughter around age 5 and the meltdown rate dropped noticeably within a few weeks. She could process “not today” in a way she just could not process a hard no. I was not lying either, it genuinely was not that day. Maybe it was never going to happen but she did not need that level of detail at age 5. You can have the full philosophical conversation about needs versus wants when they are older
Silicrypte that is such a thoughtful reframe and the language we use with kids honestly carries more weight than most parents realize. “No” is a wall. “Not today” is a door that just happens to be closed right now. The outcome is the same but the emotional experience for the child is completely different and that difference is what decides whether you leave the store calmly or whether someone ends up sitting on the floor.
I also want to build on what Fluxorix said about consistency because I think parents sometimes give up just before things actually shift. You might hold the line forty times and feel like nothing is changing and then around time forty five something quietly clicks and they stop pushing as hard. The progress is happening even when you cannot see it. Trust the repetition.
Okay I am coming in with probably the most embarrassing story in this thread so everyone else can feel better My son at age 6 asked for a $40 LEGO set in the middle of a pharmacy. When I said no he turned to the entire store and announced, at full volume, that I was “the worst buyer.” Not the worst parent. The worst BUYER. Like he was filing a formal complaint about my purchasing decisions to whoever would listen.
What I took from that experience and the many similar ones that followed is that humor genuinely helps. Not laughing at them but just not treating every ask like a battle that needs to be won. When I stopped bringing that tense energy into the store myself, the whole dynamic shifted. Now I do a little dramatic “let me check my invisible wallet” routine and my kids find it funny and the moment passes. You cannot always reason your way through a 5 year old. Sometimes you just have to out-weird them
TriviaNext “the worst buyer” I am fully crying. The specificity. Kids really do cut right to the point with zero filter.
Bringing it together for StackXQuantumLink because this thread has genuinely been a goldmine: between KernelXMythic’s coin budget, DataXSolvex’s one ask rule, PixelXHollow’s wish list, and Silicrypte’s “not today” swap, you have a whole toolkit sitting right here. None of it requires you to be a perfect parent, just a consistent one. Pick one approach, give it a few weeks, and see what fits your two kids. And the next time your daughter stages a floor protest at Target, remember she is practicing negotiation and persistence that will honestly serve her very well one day You are doing fine.