My 8yo just didn’t make the soccer team and he’s absolutely crushed. Won’t even talk about trying again next year. I don’t know how to help him through this without making it worse. Any advice from parents who’ve been through this?
oof, that’s rough. my daughter went through something similar with dance auditions last year. what helped us was just letting her be sad for a bit? like i wanted to jump in with all the ‘you’ll get it next time!’ stuff but she needed to just feel disappointed first. Then we talked about it when she was ready
I’m gonna be real with you, sometimes we jump in too fast trying to FIX their feelings instead of just sitting with them. Your kid needs to know it’s okay to fail and it’s okay to feel bad about it. That’s literally how they learn resilience. Just be there, don’t minimize it, and he’ll come around when he’s ready 
So here’s what worked for my son: we started pointing out our OWN failures more. Like when I burned dinner or messed up at work, I’d actually talk about it instead of hiding it. Kids need to see that adults fail too and we survive it lol. Made a huge difference in how he handles his own stuff now
the growth mindset thing actually helps if you do it right. not the toxic positivity version where everything’s a ‘learning opportunity’ 
but genuinely reframing failure as information. like ‘okay what do we know now that we didn’t before?’
Let him quit if he wants to quit. Seriously. I forced my daughter to stick with gymnastics after she failed a test and it backfired SO bad. She ended up hating it completely. Sometimes kids need to step away and come back on their own terms. Or find something else they actually enjoy.
We did this thing where we celebrated failures at dinner once a week. Everyone shares something they messed up and what happened after. Sounds weird but it normalized failing in our house. Now when my kids don’t do well at something they are way less devastated because failing isn’t this huge scary thing anymore
honestly the best thing my parents ever did was NOT make a big deal when i failed at stuff. They didn’t ignore it but they also didn’t act like it was the end of the world. Just ‘that sucks buddy, what do you want to do now?’ gave me space to figure out my own feelings about it. i try to do the same with my kids
One thing that’s been huge for us is separating their worth from their performance. Like really drilling in that we love them the same whether they make the team or don’t, get an A or get a C. When kids know their value isn’t tied to success, failure doesn’t hit as hard. Also ice cream helps 
not gonna lie, sometimes you just need ice cream