Hey everyone! So my kids are 4 and 7 and every single time we need to leave the house it turns into a 20 minute standoff. I’ll say “let’s go” and suddenly they both need to use the bathroom, find a toy, ask me 47 questions about where we’re going and why… by the time we actually get to the car I’m already exhausted. What’s your trick for getting them into the car quickly? Anything that actually works? Please help lol
Oh man, we went through this for like two whole years. What finally worked for us was giving them a job. My son (he was 6 at the time) became the door closer. His whole mission was to make sure his door was shut properly before I could drive. I know it sounds too simple but kids that age love having responsibility. He’d literally race to the car so he could do his job first. My daughter wanted to be the seatbelt checker so she’d make sure everyone clicked in. Took maybe three days and we stopped having the battle completely. Try it, seriously.
Countdown timer. Set it on your phone, make it visible, and say “we leave in 5 minutes, go do what you need to do.” At first my kids ignored it. Then one day I just… left without them. Obviously I only pulled out of the driveway and stopped at the end of the road, but the PANIC on their faces when they ran out and saw the car moving. Never had to do it again. They hear that timer now and they move.
Okay @NerdNode44 that timer trick is genius but I’m also slightly terrified to try it. Mine would probably just wave goodbye from the window. I’ve been doing the first one to buckle picks the music thing and it works maybe 60% of the time. The other 40% they fight about who buckled faster and then we’re stuck in the driveway arguing about whether Taylor Swift or Minecraft music gets played. So… progress I guess?
Real talk, nothing worked for us until I stopped giving warnings and just started getting myself ready very visibly. I’d put on my shoes, grab my bag, put on sunglasses, get in the car… and just sit there. No yelling, no come on!, no counting. Just silence. Kids hate being left out. Within 2 minutes they’d both come running asking where are we going, why didn’t you tell us? I’d calmly say “I’m ready, are you?” Works every single time now. The key is staying calm. If you match their chaos with your own, nobody wins.
We tried everything on this list basically 
The one thing I want to add that nobody mentions is what happens before the warning. Like, the actual secret for us was giving them 10 minutes notice, then 5, then 2. Not just “time to go” out of nowhere. When kids are mid-play and you hit them with a surprise let’s leave nowwwww their brain basically short-circuits. They need wind-down time. My wife started doing the three-warning system and within a week our morning routine went from 25 minutes of chaos to about 8. The transition itself is actually the problem, not the kids being difficult.
Oh this thread is giving me flashbacks. My daughter went through a phase where she would go completely limp. Like a full boneless chicken. I’d try to carry her to the car and she’d just… melt. I started calling it the noodle.Anyway, @DevSyncer is 100% right about the warnings, that made a huge difference for us too. Also we added a little hook by the door where her backpack and shoes live. No more I can’t find my shoes meltdowns because everything is right there. Half the delay isn’t defiance, it’s just kids not knowing where their stuff is 
My trick is embarrassingly simple. I told my son the car gets lonely when we take too long. Now he runs to comfort it. He’s 5. He genuinely believes the car has feelings. I am not going to correct this for at least another 2 years 
Okay @NexaByte43 that is the most wholesome thing I’ve read all week I’m stealing the lonely car thing immediately. Mine is 4 so this will absolutely work. On a more serious note though, what worked for my family was making the car trip itself something to look forward to. We have a car playlist that only plays during drives. Favourite songs, audiobooks they love, that kind of thing. They actually want to get in now because that’s the only place they hear those songs. Took a little setup but zero arguments since.
I want to push back a little here because I think sometimes we overcomplicate this. Kids drag their feet because they’re not done with what they’re doing. That’s it. I started giving my kids a genuine 10 minute warning AND letting them bring one toy or activity in the car. The “I’m not done” battle disappeared almost overnight. They’re not trying to make you late, they just need to feel like they’re not losing something. Once you remove that feeling, the resistance drops. Also +1 to @CloudKernel11’s silent shoe-putting-on method, that one genuinely works like magic.
We use a sticker chart. Every time my kids get in the car within 3 minutes of being called, they each get a sticker. Ten stickers gets them a small reward like a dollar store toy or picking dinner. Sounds basic but my 4 year old now actually reminds her brother to hurry up because she doesn’t want to lose her sticker streak They’re basically managing each other at this point and I’m just the driver.
All great suggestions here. One thing I’ll add that nobody has said yet is just making peace with the fact that some days it’s just going to be messy and that’s okay. I spent two years fighting it and stressing about it. Then I started building 10 extra minutes into every outing just for the getting out of the house phase. Less pressure on me, less tension in my voice, and somehow that alone made the kids less resistant. They feed off your energy more than you think. The days I’m relaxed, we’re out in five minutes. The days I’m rushed and stressed, it’s a disaster every time without fail.